Date : Sunday, October 19, 2008
Time : 9:55 PM
Title : in the doldrums.

i admit,i have been feeling down lately.depressed i would say.i can cry for up to days at times or maybe just shut myself off from the world.

and lately,i can feel nothing except for being in the dolddrums and extremely lethargic.i hate it when everybody making stupid meaningless jokes.i hate it when everybody is laughing at something which is actually important.i hate it when everbody playing games.i hate it when i have to keep it all in.i hate it when people just don't listen.i hate it when people don't acknowledge.

i miss the old me.i know its hiding deep inside of me somewhere.i miss the happy cheerful gay smiling me.i have drowned myself into my own sorrows and now it seems too hard to get out.

obviously i need someone to pull me out of this mess.to put things in a sexier way,i'm a big hot mess.

i feel like i'm in the middle of the field filled from end to end with debris.but its the kind of debris where your feet get stuck in and you cant get out.i seriously need a crane to lift me out,a real strong one.

but it's really funny because when i close my eyes,all i see is that someone that i hardly know.it bothers me and yet it still soothes me.